Dear World, Sincerely Harry and Percy
by Lord Voldemort XIV
Summary: The HP and PJO characters find Fanfiction, a site in which they find their lives completely ruined by mortal muggles. They decide to read a few of them and write strongly worded letters in response. Discontinued for good.
1. Meeting in England

**Hi everyone. I was reading the Harry Potter and Percy Jackson fandoms and discovered the Dear Fanfiction Readers by Taylur and H o r i z o n s. I wanted to do one where both the groups are together and writing them. So, it'll alternate between the two series. Right after both the battles in both the final books.**

_This is just the intro…Percy's Point of View_

"Annabeth, wait up," I moaned as I chased after my girlfriend. As a reward to all those who helped in the Titan War, Zeus had given us demigods an all-expense paid trip to England.

Why England of all places, I don't know. I decided to humor him though. Annabeth, on the other hand, was beyond thrilled at an opportunity to visit England. She was trilling about Big Ben, Buckingham Palace, Stonehenge, Windsor Castle, and a bunch of other places I had never heard of. Thalia and Nico had given up on understanding her also. But as her boyfriend, I was obliged to listen.

"Percy, c'mon. We'll be late. If you miss this plane, do realize Zeus will never give you another chance to ride it,"

"Why couldn't we have gone by boat?" I whined I do realize that as the savior of Olympus, I sounded like a child. But, I couldn't stand airplanes, "Besides, the first time I went, it was a disaster."

"Percy," Annabeth admonished, "Hurry up. Because it's an international flight, more security is involved. We're pressed for time."

"I'll only come if you promise me something," I smiled slyly.

"What?"

I pointed at my lips.

She tried to fight the smile tugging at the edges of her mouth, "Fine." She leaned down and pecked me on the cheek. I began pouting; but she replied, "The rest of this service fee will be paid after we land in England."

I went over and hugged her anyway, ducking my head to kiss the top of her head. Nico looked disgusted, "Get a room."

I laughed loudly, slapping his back. Poor kid, he was so old-fashioned. Lucky it was only Nico watching, had it been Thalia, I would have been doomed. She would have started with her look of disgust and ended with infinite teasing. She was in the restroom.

We hurried to board the plane. The only reason I did board it was because Annabeth was holding my hand.

Take-off, like last time, was horrible. I was clenching my teeth and holding on to the arm-rests. I probably would have broken it were it not for Thalia. She kept an eye on me to make sure I didn't blow up my seat.

The airhostess looked at me sympathetically, "First time my dear?" All I could do was nod, a jerky quick movement.

It was even worse when we began to land. As soon as we had, I rushed to the nearest restroom, or privy or loo as they called it here in England. I left the two girls and Nico discussing plans for reaching London.

_Harry's Point of View_

After the Great Battle, Professor McGonogall had given the students one week's time to recover before eventually shipping us off to our respective homes. Now that we were officially done with Hogwarts, we were to look for jobs.

"Harry, come on. We'll miss the Hogwarts Express," Ginny was shouting, gesturing at the train. But I wanted one last look at my home, where I had truly found myself.

"In a minute. Tell Ron and Hermione to wait," I replied. Those two had become inseparable since the war. It was slightly sickening, but I reckon that's how Ginny and I looked to others. Ron wasn't pleased with our relationship, but he couldn't be one to complain after all, snogging Hermion like that in the middle of the war.

I turned my back to Hogwarts, my castle, my home. I tried to locate the compartment my friends were in. Thanks to their special Head Prefect privileges, the two had secured the best seats.

I chose the seat facing the castle and watched it as the train sped away. We played a game of Exploding Snaps. Ron wasn't concentrating as much as he was playing with Hermione's hair.

"Ronald," she said, slapping his hand away from her bushy hair. I was to stay with the Weasleys as soon as I got a few of my remaining riches from Sirius's house in London.

We were dropped off at King's Cross as a group of tourists bumped into us. They seemed to be of our age, but foreign. They were also a group of four.

"Excuse me," a tall thin, blond haired girl apologized. She has startling gray eyes and her accent sounded American. She looked rather beautiful.

"That's alright," I replied. Another boy, with black hair similar to mine, put his hands over her shoulders protectively. He was wearing cooling glasses, so I couldn't see his eyes. She glared at him, but he didn't seem to notice. He looked pale and sweaty, not so great looking.

"I was wondering if you could help us," the girl continued, looking at me. "We're kind of lost."

"Are not," the boy next to her protested. She jabbed him hard in the ribs, but he just grinned.

"We need to find May Fair Hotel," she said. "If you could guide is, we'd really be grateful."

Hermione wove her way forward, "We can help. In fact, our stop is near there anyway."

The blonde nodded gratefully.

"My name's Harry Potter, by the way," I said, offering my hand to the blonde.

Her boyfriend, I assumed, rudely pushed in front and offered his hand instead, "Name's Percy Jackson."

**Like it? Hate it tell me? There may be one more chapter like this before starting actual letters. They need to get to know each other first.**

**Please review and tell me what you think. This is my first fic in this section and first real Harry Potter fic.**

**Feedback helps and is appreciated.**


	2. Secrets divulged

**Thank y'all so much for reviewing/faving/alerts. I really appreciate it, but remember your feedback helps more. Yes, I realize Percy and Harry are OOC…but, I would be too if I was insanely jealous.**

_Percy's Point of View_

I looked at the scene in disgust as Harry and Annabeth talked animatedly. After the introductions were over, the British kids insisted the hotel wasn't too far from the station, just walking distance.

The two were discussing something; Harry was pointing at various landmarks as we traversed London. Ginny, I think was the name of the female red-head, looked just as pleased as me.

Stupid Brit! Why talk to him? Was his accent oh so charming? Did he save the world from exploding? I didn't think so. Was he the one of the prophecy? I think not. **(A/N: Irony alert!)**

The red-head girl was fuming. The other one, a till thin ginger, I assumed was her brother. He was walking with one hand securely around Hermione's waist. He kept whispering something in her ear.

I was watching them to take my mind off of Annabeth. Too bad that didn't work out. My body slammed into Annabeth's. Thalia and Nico bumping, right behind me.

Annabeth had suddenly stopped, causing a domino effect.

"What?" I asked bitterly. If she noticed my tone, she ignored it, "Percy…I forgot to tell Chi-Mr. Brunner that we had landed."

She quickly tried to cover up her mistake, but the red head-boy had noticed, "You know someone named Chai? As in tea?"

I snorted. What was the world coming to?

"No, no…I meant our Camp Director, Mr. Brunner. He organized this trip," she replied.

"Oh,"

"Percy, I need Internet Access. Now!" Annabeth literally shoved her laptop case in my face.

"Can't you wait till we reach the hotel or use the phone," Thalia asked. Thank you Thalia! Finally, someone has sense.

"We can't use the phone…you know," Annabeth fretted.

Ron, the red-head, asked curiously, "You mean the fellytone? Simila r in purpose to the Patronus?" I looked at him in surprise. He wasn't much to look at, but I assumed he was smarter than he looked. Apparently not so.

His girlfriend, Hermione, slapped her hand across his mouth quickly. The phrase if-looks-could-kill ran through my mind as she glared at her boyfriend. Hermione then straightened up and offered, "There in an internet center nearby to use."

An internet center? What the Hades is that? Hermione must have known what I was thinking because she explained. Nico still looked confused, "Internet? What is that? Is that like Iris Messaging?" This time, Thalia punched Nico in the shins. He had nearly given away our secret. Fool.

Hermione's eyes looked thoughtful and calculating. Harry steeped forward, I know the way. It's right in the next block."

"Lead on then," I sneered. Annabeth was scowling, muttering away. Probably telling me to be nice. Ginny, on the other hand, seemed pleased.

She started walking by me and struck up a conversation, "So, you're from America. What's it like there?"

_Harry's Point of View_

Talking to Annabeth was really enchanting. America was a whole another culture. But I noticed one thing; she always tensed when I questioned her. She kept fingering the beads on her necklace. She seemed to be telling the truth, yet she was holding something back.

I looked back to seek Hermione and Eon in the middle of some deep conversation. Those two American goths, so I assumed from their black clothes, were looking around in awe at my city.

Ginny, who I expected to be lonesome, seemed to be enjoying talking to Percy. It looked like she was flirting! The nerve. Percy seemed to be amused by her reaction; he grinned when he saw me looking. That fool. Who did he think he was? Flirting my girlfriend? Was he the savior of the world? No, of course not. Nor was he the Chosen One from the prophecy.

We entered the internet café and waited patiently by the door as Annabeth logged in. She was looking deep in her pocket for cash I believe. She pulled her hand out when a large gold coin fell out.

Ron bent over to pick it up; Annabeth looked abashed. He eyes pleading her friends for help.

Suddenly there was a loud crack, coming from Ron. In one hand was the strange gold coin, in the other…his wand, broken in two (again).

"Mum's going to kill me," he mumbled. I looked at the coin for closer examination. Was it a galleon? If so, what was it doing with a muggle?

Percy looked at Ron disapprovingly, "Why did you have a stick in your back pocket?"

"Why does your girlfriend have an ancient Greek coin in her pocket?" Hermione countered, snatching the coin from me.

Percy visibly paled, "She's a coin collector."

"I use this as defense," Ron muttered. What pathetic excuses.

Thalia and Nico looked horror-stricken. Hermione, noticing this, walked to the middle and began, "Look it seems like we're both hiding something, so out with it." Annabeth nodded her head.

"Hermione, you know the law," I gestured angrily.

"Annabeth, that's impossible," Percy groaned. The two girls glared at the pair of us with identical expressions of irritation.

Ron broke in, "Honestly you two. You're scaring me. Enough with the Umbridge expression." Annabeth was confused; whereas Hermione rounded on him.

"Fine," Thalia sighed, "Percy tell them. I'll take the blame if my father gets mad. He can't kill me, but he could murder you."

"It'll sound ridiculous," Percy grumbled rebelliously. Now, Thalia's glare was worse than Umbridge's.

Percy seemed to have been electrified; his hair all standing up on ends, "Fine, but don't laugh. We're demigods. Half human and half Greek God. I'm the son of Poseidon. Annabeth…Athena, Thalia…Zeus, and Nico…Hades. We came to England on vacation after destroying the Titan Kronos."

I thought they were just pulling our leg, but they looked deadly serious. Hermione grinned like it was her achievement.

"We're wizards. Yes, that was a wand. I am Harry Potter, and in the Wizarding world, I'm renowned. Just last week, we defeated Lord Voldemort. The greatest, yet most evil, wizard of all times,"

Annabeth took it as well as Hermione, "It as the Fates' destiny to bring us together. Anyway, I just paid the cashier the money owed for an hour. We can send Chiron an email."

Annabeth rushed over to the nearest available computer and began her email. After 15 minutes, she called out Percy's name, a queer tone entering her voice, "Perce…c'mere. I found something…about us. You too Harry."

She explained that an ad for some website called Fanfiction had popped up and that she had clicked on it. It instantly brought her to page with various names. But amongst the most popular, was my name? Percy's was fourth after me.

Annabeth quickly forwarded the site to several of her friends while Hermione did the same for our other friends. We decided to give this site a shot.

**I know this is sort of long. Next chapter starts the Dear Fanfiction Writers. Please review. Your feedback really helps. Any suggestions to what characters should say…leave them in you review. So review please! I'll try to update tomorrow.**


	3. Sincerely Harry Potter

**Yes, I did change the name of the story because I was actually planning on a Dear blank, sincerely blank thing. Dear Fanfiction Writers is a subset of that. Do realize these chapters are going to be extremely short and if you want me to update multiple chapters, you have to review.**

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

I, Harry James Potter, am not in any respect whatsoever gay. I am completely straight. As you can see, Ginny here is my girlfriend. I would never in all my years, fall in love with Draco Malfoy.

Sincerely,

Harry Potter

**Like it? Dislike it? Any suggestions? Review!**


	4. Sincerely Lord Zeus

**Did you guys not like the last chapter or something? Review.**

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

My name is not Zues. Never has been, never will be.

Sincerely,

The Lord of the Sky who could blast you into pieces

**Anyway, I'm updating 2 chapters today. Hope you enjoy, and don't forget to review.**


	5. Sincerely Nico DiAngelo

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

No, I do not want to date your Esmeralda Scarlett Ruby Diamond Selene nor your Lady Aquamarine Angelica Sparkle Gaga Bieber. I would never fall in love with flat, too perfect, idiots! In short, I'm not going to fall in love with your Mary-Sue. If that upsets you, go cry in the Underworld.  
>Sincerely,<p>

Nico DiAngelo

**Anyways, please review and let me know what you think. This will include many characters from both stories…may they be dead or alive.**


	6. Sincerely Percy Jackson

**Disclaimer: Percy Jackson is not mine**

**Anyway, thanks for reviewing. To those of you who read this, but aren't…shame on you.**

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

This may upset you, but I am not a girl name Perci.

Sincerely,

Percy Jackson, Hero (not Heroine) of Olympus

**Please review, have any suggestion tell me.**


	7. Sincerely Draco Malfoy

**Again, please review. I appreciate feedback. If you do review, I'll give you sneak peeks as to who may write letters next.**

**To ****xXxWiseGirlXxX****: I know you want longer chapters, but the point of this is to make them short and to the point.**

Dear Filthy Muggles with Horrid Imagination,

I, Draco Lucius Malfoy, would never stoop down to the level of you. I would never even dream of falling in love with that cursed Potter. As I would never even glance at Mudblood like Granger.

Sincerely,

Draco Malfoy

**Review for more chapters in one update.**


	8. Yours Truly Perfecta Eden Lily Potter

**I know some of you wanted longer chapters, so every once in a while; I plan on having them read a horribly written story…by me. I don't want to insult anyone by a using another author's badly written story. **

**Also, if you would like to partake in this event, just give me a horribly written story in your review. No more than 300 words long, so the characters can read and comment. Do realize that this offer only applies to non-Antarctica(n) residents. No, just joking, but I couldn't resist.**

**But seriously, you can send me a story…and I can have the characters read it. Both HP and PJO are needed!**

_Harry's Point of View_

"Hey Hermione, come here for a second," I shouted across the room as I waited impatiently for my best friend to come over.

"Coming Harry. What is it now?" she asked, annoyed.

You see, I've been browsing on Fanfiction the last couple of days, some of these stories are well written while others just make me want to wish that I was The-Boy-Who-Died.

"You're not still looking on Fanfiction are you?" She chided me, but just wait till she hears this story.

Ron came over, his mouth stuffed with some repulsive-looking sandwich, came over with the demigods. They looked interested in what I had to say.

"Read this," I urged them. They peered at Annabeth's laptop with interest.

**Chapter 1: **

**Hey everybody. My name is Perfecta Eden Lily Potter.**

"Harry, you're married?" Ron asked incredulously. "Whatever happened to Ginny?" He suddenly became the overprotective brother type.

"Shut up, you git!" Ginny returned sharply.

"Ron, just read the rest of the story," I begged him.

**Yes, that's right. My name means perfect, well because I'm perfect. I'm tall and supermodel thin. I have shoulder length chestnut hair with natural blond highlights. I look really hot in banana yellow high heels. I have chocolate brown eyes that make boys melt under my gaze. I have perfectly tanned skin though I live in England.**

"Wow, she has some serious issues," Annabeth said.

"Really inflated ego," Hermione agreed.

"Dunno, she sounds kinda hot," Percy grinned.

I tried to stifle my laughter as Annabeth glared at him. He tried to apologize, but it wasn't working as he was still laughing.

"She sounds perfect," Nico said dreamily. As everyone looked at him in surprise, he said, "In a bad way." Thalia punched him in the ribs for good measure.

**Chapter 2:**

**You may have not heard of me before, but I am the sister of the famous Harry Potter. Yeah, like my brother totally got all the credit, but I'm the one who did everything. This is my awesome version of the REAL deal. Harry Potter is a nincompoop that just took the credit because people pitied his scar.**

"What the Hades?" Nico asked. "You lied to us. You're not the one who defeated Fly of Death?"

"You mean Voldemort?"

"Same thing in French…"

**Chapter 3:**

**No one knows I existed because my parents separated me from that loser Harry after we were born. We were born at the witching hour, but I got all the powers. Harry is practically half a squib.**

"Blimey mate, you never told me that," Ron started chuckling.

Even Hermione joined in the fun, "Care for some tutoring?"

**Chapter 4:**

**I'll fast forward through all the boring details of Harry's life till the epic battle. It was like so totally sweet. My friends and I were like having a slumber party, and I was curling hair when like the mobile rang. I was all like what's your problem.**

"Poor Harry, what a dull life you must have led, being hunted by Voldemort," Ginny teased, as I blushed heatedly. Honestly, theses arrogant Muggles actually thought they could do whatever they wanted with my life.

**Chapter 5: **

**Then there was this one scrawny dude who claimed to be my brother and he needed my help. He doesn't admit this to anyone. He said he wanted to defeat this snake man named Wal-Mart or something. **

"Walmart? As in the department store? Wow, this story is better than Green Day…" Thalia grinned. Her friends gasped at her statement.

"What is Green Bay…isn't that some football team?" Ron asked. "American football…"

"I said Green Day…as in an old band,"

The others were rolling on the floor, laughing at the idea of defeating a department store.

**So, I just went and sprayed perfume on myself, like the Juicy Couture kind. Wal-Mart fell in love with me, and we got married. But I killed him, and got the insurance money.**

"Even better, she killed him and got insurance. Definitely end up in Elysium, that one," Nico grimaced at the thought.

**Epilogue:**

**Yeah, so I'm filthy rich. I was the real killer of Wal-Mart. LOL. Aren't I cool?**

Ron woke up from his faint, "This lady's mental."

"Definitely cool sister there, Harry," Nico said gloomily.

What was this wrld coming to? I thought it would be a better place after defeating Voldemort.

**Well, tell me what you think of my amazing story. It took all but of 6 hours to come up with…no, more like 5 minutes. I have an inborn knack for bad stories. Remember to send in stories with your review…if you like. I mean review, but the story part is optional.**


	9. Sincerely Lady Artemis

**This chapter was provided to you by (Cue drumroll): arandomreviewer**

**So, I hope you liked the last chapter. To those who submitted a story, it'll be used in later chapters.**

Dear Perverts,

The next one of you to post a lemon with me as the partner will be turned into a fluffy bunny and locked in a cage with our hunting wolves, and that's only if my brother doesn't find you first for making him the man.

Sincerely,

Artemis

Goddess of the hunt, Virgin Maidens, stars, the being responsible for the disappearance of thousands of men, and the sudden rise of the rabbit population.

P.S. Perseus, if I find you reading a fic that mentions me and you, I will turn you into an antelope.

**Like I said, this is not one of mine, but a reviewer submitted it.**


	10. Sincerely Sirius Black

**This one is mine, so definitely review…or else. Yeah, I brought another story into the picture.**

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

I, Sirius BLACK, and Remus Lupin are not the parents of the wannabe werewolf, Jacob Black. Yes, he may express traits from both of us, but please don't associate us with that loser. Siriusly.

Sincerely,

Sirius Black.

**Sorry if that offends any Team Jacob fans. (Stage whisper) Yes, I know seriously was spelled wrong, but it's a pun. So, review for quicker updates. **

**More reviews = happier me = quicker updates.**


	11. Sincerely Thalia Grace

**I appreciate arandomreviewer's help. The next few are submitted by arandomreviewer. So, I'll tell you which ones are mine. There may be some repeats for people who send letters. To all those who submitted stories, like I said before, they will be used but not right away.**

Dear Morons,

I am a Hunter of Artemis, and have never expressed any desire for Nico (no offense, Nico). Furthermore I am over 20 years old and he is way too young at 13, but if you count the tree thing I guess you have to count his time in the hotel meaning he's over 70 and whichever way you think about it you are sick, and what the Hades is Thalico?

Disgustedly,

Thalia Grace.

P.S. Nico would like to add that the area in the fields of punishment dedicated for your type was recently remodeled after prison, so enjoy!


	12. Sincerely The Olympians

**arandomreviewer's idea again:**

Dear sad, pathetic, little mortals,

Your mother. 'Nuff said.

Sincerely,

The gods

Dear Norrisists,

Contrary to popular belief Chuck Norris has not at any point killed a god. While it 100% true that he is more awesome than all of us put together.

Less awesomely (but still alive),

The Olympian Counsel


	13. Sincerely Hades

**arandomreviewer's idea once again:**

Dear mortal,

The dust cloud that just shot out of this letter was both revenge for all your trespasses against me and a highly toxic, extremely painful cloud of spores from a rare Stygian banks fungus.

See you soon,

Hades (Lord of the Dead)

**Also, to arandomreviewer: I'm grateful for your ideas, but I chose not to enclose the one including me because I would prefer to be modest here. If anyone is wondering, they can check reviews.**


	14. Sincerely Connor and Travis Stoll

**This is one of mine, finally. Yes, I know I'm slacking. But shortly, I shall bestow upon you another chapter similar to Perfecta Eden Lily Potter, submitted by fellow reviewers like you. The characters will comment on those lovely badly written stories.**

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

We're not twins, and we don't appreciate being compared to Fred and George Weasley. C'mon, they have magic on their hand whereas we have…uhhh, we'll get back to you on that.

Sincerely (*smirk*),

Connor and Travis Stoll

**Yes, so review. I have some others planned out. I'll try to update more than one starting soon.**


	15. Avada Kedavra Your Master

**Another one of mine, so review…or Voldemort and Kronos (the dead) will combine forces to come and get you. No just kidding, but review.**

Dear Wormtail,

You pathetic imbecile! Have you ever done anything right? Once in your life? My rebirth was supposed to be magnificent, but no, you had to botch it up. Now, people make fun of me for not having a nose. I can't live that down. Everything tastes funny without a nose. Just out of curiosity, have you found my nose yet? It may be in Albania.

Avada Kedavra,

Your Master

**Review…or Voldy's going to get try and track you down. Errr…without a nose.**


	16. Love Amythest Jackson

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed, and as promised…a longer chapter! This badly written (no offense) story was submitted by CrazyDyslexicNerd. So give it up for them.**

_Percy's Point of View_

I stared at the screen in blank shock. This kid couldn't be serious, could she? Di immortales! What was up with these mortals finding pleasure in writing crazy stories about us?

"Annabeth?" I asked her. She was with all the other girls, but she turned around and looked disapproving. I cringed at the sight on her face.

"What is now, Perseus?"

Oh, harsh! She used my full name.

I began nervously, "Just some more Fanfiction you should see." I barely managed to squeak that out under the glower she was giving me.

She shook her head, but the magical word was Fanfiction. Soon, all the boys rushed over to grab a chair and the girls eventually followed suit.

**Hi, my name is Amythest Khristal Allina Maria Sarena Susan Leona Rhiannon Jade Jackson.**

"How many people was that referring to? 10?" Nico asked incredulously.

"No, one…" I replied.

"What's up with all those names having to do with stones and crystals?" Thalia demanded, looking peeved.

**I'm Percy Jackson's younger sister,**

"Percy, you never told us this…" Nico screeched in shock, causing my ears to almost burst, "How old is she? Is she cute?"

"Nico, shut the Hades up! This is like that one story involving Harry's 'sister'," Annabeth chided him.

**but I have a secret. While were both Demigods, which everyone knows, I'm a witch. I get it from mom's side of the family. This is my story of going to Hogwarts. **

"If it's from Mrs. Blofis's side of the family, why wouldn't Percy be a wizard too?" Annabeth looked confused.

"He's not as cool as us," Ron said, his mouth full of some baloney sandwich, "Blimey mate, you don't suppose we're in this story." He looked kind of excited to be in this story which I found kind of pathetic.

"We may be, now let Percy read the story," Hermione scolded him, reminding me of Annabeth. She did do an uncanny imitation of her.

"Who asked you anyway?" Ron muttered mutinously.

**I got my letter when I was eleven, and I instantly became best friends with the hottest guy in Hogwarts, of course, you can't date someone when your eleven, but we both knew we were going to get married when we were older. **

"I can see her as Seaweed Brain's sister in one respect…They're both seaweed brains, Stupid," Annabeth mumbled.

**Stuff happened that you can find in other stories, but when we were sixteen something bad happened. See, my friend was Harry Potter, the boy who lived.**

There were blank stares coming from the crowd. Ron finally broke the awkward silence by laughing, "She seriously called Harry the hottest guy in Hogwarts?" He continued chuckling, till Ginny pulled out her wand and pointed it at him, "No one dates my boyfriend!"

Ron instantly straightened up at the sight of his younger sister.

**Everyone wanted to be around him, but I was the only one who really cared for him. **

"Whatever happened to us?" Hermione demanded hotly.

**On the day of a quidditch match, I woke up and brushed my long, blond hair, which fell down my back in perfect ringlets. My sparkling amethyst coloured eyes, which I was named for, looked perfect.**

"Question: why does she have blond hair and amethyst colored eyes? Neither of those are traits my parents have," I asked. Everyone else just shrugged either muttering mortals or muggles.

**I didn't put on any make-up, I didn't need it. I put on my special red and gold top. It was a belly shirt, and showed off my perfect flat stomach. **

"Just what I needed to know," Nico added sarcastically.

**It was low, with short sleeves. I put on a matching mini-skirt with fishnet tights and high heels. **

"Like we care," Thalia rolled her eyes.

**I went and watched the match, in which Harry performed perfectly, and went to the party after words.**

"Spell check is legal," Hermione and Annabeth both sneered. "After words…honestly?"

"You guys sound like nerdy twins," I said.

"We are not!"

**During the party, this girl named Ginny **

"And so I enter," Ginny grumbled.

**had the nerve to kiss MY Harry, I'd say she was a female dog, but I'm to good to use such coarse language. **

"That b— had the nerve to call me that. That stupid moronic idiot. Wait till I get a hold of her and do my Bat-Boogey hex," Ginny was practically growling. For a minute, she was just as scary as Thalia, Annabeth, and Hermione.

**Harry, of course, politely pushed her away, and when he did, Ron Weasly, the girls older brother, and Harry's 'best friend'**

"Oh, so we are friends," Ron said.

"Not for much longer," I said, reading ahead.

**asked him how he could be so horrible to his little sister, Harry told him he loved me, and Ron decided that he and Harry were no longer friends, **

Harry grimaced. Poor guy. Both the stories we had read so far were about bashing him. Thankfully, it wasn't my turn…yet.

**and they both hated me forever cuse I ruined their mothers plot to get rich by little Ginny weasel marrying my Harry. I of course tried to help the poor little girl, who was being used by her mother's scheming, but she wouldn't understand. **

"Is that true, Gin?" Harry asked, with a childish look on his face.

"Harry James Potter, you know that's completely ridiculous! Don't call me Gin," she roared.

"A true Gryffindor, that one," Ron nodded his head at his sister.

**And that's how Harry and I got together. Now he's defeated Voldemort, and everything's perfect. We got married, and lived happily ever after.**

"Again," Hermione shook her head in irritation, "they skip the fact of how we defeated Voldemort."

"Voldemort, Voldemort, Vol-Volde-Voldemort," Nico began chanting. He shrugged when we glanced at him, "I found that while looking it up on some place called YouTube."

**So review for my sanity.**


	17. Sincerely Minerva McGonagall

**Hey guys, this is only a one chapter update…but I'll tell you why later.**

Dear Simple-minded Muggles,

I would like to express something I've never told anyone before. This may hurt to hear, but I am not Catwoman. The next person to call me that (That means you, Weasley)…will receive detention with me. Being my guinea pig for new Transfiguration spells.

Sincerely,

Minerva McGonagall

**So, please review. I know it's short, but the reason is that one of my close friends just lost their dad, and I'm really not in the mood for updating a lot. **


	18. Sincerely Ronald Weasley

**I know I haven't updated in 2 days, and I'm currently brain-dead. But a kind reviewer (AtlantianA) submitted some. I'll do my very best to update soon.**

Dear insolent *** Muggles,

If I find one more Dramione story, I will personally use the unforgivable curses on you, and then post a story about YOU and Draco which ends in you dying. Yes, I realize that my curses in the past have ended backfiring on me, but still...

Sincerely,

Ron (I-will-curse-you-soon-cause-I-am-Hermione's boyfriend)


	19. Sincerely Percy Jackson 2

**Again, submitted by AtlantianA. I will update soon though. Like I said before, the doctor said my bout of brain-deadness will pass shortly. Hopefully soon. I did edit some of this, like adding the P.S.**

Dear Mortals,

I quite like a GOOD Percabeth story, but please no more fics where I break up with Annabeth.

Sincerely,

Percy Jackson

P.S. Annabeth doesn't appreciate any lemons, whatever that means. But if it annoys her, I'm all for it. Sorry Wise Girl (*winces*)


	20. Sincerely Severus Snape

Dear Muggles,

I don't care for shampoo because my hair is not greasy. If anyone is filthy, that would be you.

Sincerely,

Severus Snape

**Yes, I know it isn't too funny but I'm still recovering from my brain-deadness.**


	21. Sincerely Lord Zeus 2

**Another submission by AtlantianA:**

Dear Mortals,

What the Hades is a player? And am i really one?

Sincerely,

King of the Gods, Zeus


	22. Sincerely Grover Underwood

**This comment was not meant to bear any malice towards any race. In other words, I'm not being racist. Also, thanks to those of you who submitted stories…I don't need any more for now.**

Dear Movie Directors,

I am not Black and never did I consider marrying so many girls in Las Vegas while wearing a bathrobe.

Sincerely,

Grover Underwood


	23. Sincerely Annabeth Chase

Dear Movie Directors,

I am a smart blonde, not a dumb brunette. Is it really hard to find a blond wig and grey contacts for Alexandra Daddario?

Sincerely,

Annabeth Chase


	24. Sincerely The Evil Lord Voldemort

**Spoilers if you haven't seen DH Part 2.**

Dear Movie Directors,

Was it really necessary to make me sound like a retarded maniac having a coughing fit every time I laughed? I would have preferred to have an evil, dark, throaty chuckle. But no, the audience had to laugh at me every time I laughed at me evil plans.

Sincerely,

The Evil Lord Voldemort

**Did anyone else notice how he sounded kind of wimpy when he laughed?**


	25. Angrily Lord Voldemort

**I wasn't going to update today but many people submitted letters. So first up…arandomreviewer.**

Dear Filthy Muggles,

YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO CALL ME, THE GREATEST DARK WIZARD TO EVER LIVE, MOLDYSHORTS! MARK MY WORDS YOU DISGUSTING CREATURES, I WILL PERSONALLY HUNT YOU DOWN AND FEED YOU TO NAGINI! 

Angrily,

Lord Voldemort

P.S. in regards to your letter previously addressed to me, arandomreviewer; I have no idea what happened to my nose, and quite frankly it is very rude of you to ask.


	26. Sincerely Your Angry Dark Lord

**From mochoa1994:**

Dear Movie People,  
>My hugs certainly aren't that awkward. Also, it was not necessary to make me look like a child after I killed Harry. Bellatrix was only trying to help.<p>

Sincerely,  
>Your Evil Dark Lord<p> 


	27. Sincerely A clean shaven Malfoy

**Also from mochoa1994:**

Dear Movie People,  
>I do not attain face pubes when I become 30. <p>

Sincerely,  
>A clean shaven Malfoy<p> 


	28. Not so sincerely Percy Jackson

**From Bianca-Skittles:**

Dear Crazy Imaginative Mortals,

I am not planning to get Annabeth knocked up and then leave, so please shut your mouth before I find you and kill you!

Not so sincerely,

Percy Jackson


	29. The One Who Will Kill You Percy Jackson

**From Bianca-Skittles:**

Dear Mortals,

I am not gay nor shall I ever be gay so stop putting up PercyxLuke, PercyxNico, PercyxChiron, PercyxJason, and all those other stories

The one who will kill you,  
>Percy Jackson<p> 


	30. Sleep with one eye shut Thalia

Dear Good For Nothing Mortals,

Percy and I were just meant to be, it was love at first sight...NO! Perlia will never going to happen and our parents would never arrange a marriage for each other. And if you want to make a fic like that stop making Annabeth die or cheat on him and also stop making Annabeth a good for nothing brat.

Sleep with one eye open,  
>Thalia<p>

P.S Apollo and I are not getting together either nor Nico and I, I see my cousins as family! I don't date family. I am sworn off men


	31. Sincerely Rachel

**From Bianca-Skittles:**

Dear Dreamers,  
>Annabeth and I don't hate each other anymore.<p>

Sincerely,  
>Rachel<p> 


	32. See you in the Underworld Nico

**From Bianca-Skittles:**

Dear Newcoming Souls,  
>I am not going to date your Mary-Sue daughter of Poseidon who I go on a quest with and save her life multiple times<p>

See you in the Underworld,  
>Nico<p> 


	33. Sincerely Percy Jackson 3

**From Bianca-Skittles:**

Dear Mortals,

I am the an only child and that is final!

Sincerely,  
>Percy Jackson<p> 


	34. Sincerely Athena

**From Bianca-Skittles:**

Dear Idiotic Mortals Who are Stupid Enough to Write Fics Like Pothena,

Poseidon and I are not dating, nor ever will we be dating or have a kid!

I'm finding all of you right now,

Athena


	35. Sincerely Kronos

**Submitted by Thalico Hater No. 1**

Puny Little Mortals:

I don't have children with mortals. There's no such thing as a demi-titan. Every single "demi-titan" is a wannabe Mary Sue.

Sincerely,  
>Kronos<p> 


	36. Sincerely Hades 2

**Submitted by Thalico Hater No.1**

Dear Worthless Mortals,

I'm not in love with Demeter. I don't think we are a "cute couple."

Sincerely,  
>The almighty god of the dead and ruler of the Underworld<p> 


	37. Sincerely The Dead

**Submitted by Thalico Hater No.1**

Dear Fanfiction Writers,  
>We're dead. We won't come back to life. Face it.<p>

Sincerely,  
>James, Lily, Sirius, Severus, Silena, Beckendorf, Luke, Fred, Remus, Tonks, etc.<p> 


	38. Sincerely A Very Holey George

**Submitted by WhisperMaw**

Dear Stupid Muggles,

Unfortunately, my brother died. Him and I never have and never will be 'romantically involved.' that's disgusting. It's also a dishonor to his memory and I won't stand for it. You fuggles (effin' ugly muggles) seem to think I'm all fun and games. Well you're wrong. I'm only mostly fun and games.

Sincerely,  
>A Very Holey George<p> 


	39. Sincerely The Unspeakables

**Submitted by Tzadikim**

Dear ignorant ones,

According to Mrs. J.K. Rowling and Mr. ABWP Dumbledore, when Mr. HJ Potter sacrificed himself in the correct, he caused a protection similar to what his mother did. Ergo, if Mr. TM Riddle should ever come back, then he would experience the same pain as the time when he faced Mr. HJ Potter during the Philosopher fiasco.

Sincerely,

The Unspeakables


	40. I'm going to kill you Annabeth

**Submitted by xxxBookwormLonerxxx**

Dear Idiotic Mortals,

I will never leave my seaweed brain for *gags* Thalia! She's like a sister to me and I will NEVER be gay!

I'm going to kill you,  
>Annabeth<p> 


End file.
